***Wing***

It’s been a while since I posted in here eh…

Reality disgusts me when I see people approaching with purpose, but I guess that’s the way it is. I am glad to have real friends and knowing that I am lucky enough to have them support me. From this moment on, I won’t be associate with the wrong people. I am gonna stay away from bad influences.

It was you two who changed me. I was weak then I became stronger because I realized the weak always get hurt in the end. I don’t blame you two. I blame myself. I was that stupid to allow so much freedom to you and that stupid to let you be close to him. I pretend I didn’t see anything but it only goes further and further. There was no one to be trust. I have no confidence in anyone. I fool around, just like seeing your face on other people that i met, I take revenge. It was terrible. I stopped until now….seems like history repeated itself again. Right when I met you, I changed again…. From a strong, cold person back to the weak person. My emotions go along with your actions. I become so silly, worry over everything, cry over little things, get hurt and all those stuff. It is silly, I know that, but I just can’t help it. I care too much, to a point where I wish I can let go and close my heart again…..Doesn’t seems like I can do it…I tried to, but every times… it only last for like less than a day….

I don’t know what we are now. It’s on and off. You are so sweet to me that I don’t want to let go, but at the same time, it’s so painful that I can’t be with you that I want to let go. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I don’t like how it is right now. I don’t want to let you know that I am sad because then, it’s just like I am putting pressure on you. For once, I wished I never open my hearts again. Every time I do that, it hurts. At the same time, I found myself so stupid that I wouldn’t admit to you that I like you earlier. If it wasn’t my stupid ego, none of these would have happened.    As much as I want to be with you, it hurts to lie to her. I don’t want to end up being one of the person that hurt her. I just don’t know anymore. At one point, I wish I can just let go…..if only it is easy to do so….

Sometimes, I wish life will just be simple, but it never is.

I thought I could start a new life in University and stay away from any dramas or mess, but I couldn’t…..

To be honest, I would rather everyone tell everything to each other, so it won’t be as complicated. However, no one can do that in real life. You are always scared that you or someone will get hurt, so you end up hiding the truth. It’s hard and painful to hide something to yourself.

Everyone mess up at one point, but right now, I don’t think my life can get any worse. I can’t handle all these. There are just too much to take care of.

It’s finally 2012, and I should actually commit into something:

1. Lose all the fat I gain from eating and studying for finals, or from the xmas holiday

2. Work more hours and try to find an extra job

3. Try to go to the gym and work out at least twice a week

4. Less partying

5. Less Drinking

6. Listen in class

7. Stop procrastinating

8. Be strong

9. Less emotional

10. Forget what you have done to me, and restart my new life

Officially 18!

I love my friends! They are adorable! I can’t stop smiling with all these thoughts and sweet messages! I get so spoiled for once! There’s so many things to say but I just can’t use words to describe the feeling I am having right now XD

Thank you guys! For being there and spoiled me with all ur loves <3

You guys made it memorable….indeed, the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER! <3

It was so fun yesterday, skating, scream out loud, cake fight in the middle of university hallway, made a mess, burning candle contest =p, go to bubbles and wait till my actual birthday to come!

And today, I am gonna celebrate with my lovely friends again, pig out on sushi and ice cream cake, have lots of fun, and get home to dine out with family. Oh! I almost forgot to mention, but my brother is amazing! HAHA it’s so complicated, we have such a love-hate relationship! OMFG, but I still can’t get how he took my guess card without my notice and brought me a purse in my favorite color and manage to put it back! AHHHHH! Thank you bro hehehe and thank you for installing my new laptop <3

Okay, time to cool down and get ready to have fun =p <3 <3 <3

You said you know me too well….but you don’t

If you do, you wont make a reservation in that place

If you do, you won’t tell me how good i am as a liar

If you do, you won’t ask me to hide stuff for the sake of you not wanting to hear bad comments from others

If you do, you would care about the reputation less and care about me

If you do, you won’t make the same food that i have to picked out every morning

If you do, you won’t tell me how to help him because he’s weak and Im strong

If you do, you should know that I am a person too and I have feelings too

If you do, you won’t ask me to give up everything for the sake of him

If you do, you won’t ask me to clean up all his shit

If you do, you should know better than telling me I am wrong at every single thing

If you do, you won’t boss me around to do all the things you want

If you do, you would generously allow me to have a life

If you do, you should know why i have so many jobs

If you do, you won’t ask me to stay home since you would have know that it’s the last place I wanna spend my time there

If you do, you have to know that I hate u for pretending and being such a hypocrite

I am disappointed, but I accept the fact that you don’t know me or never try to. Just please, stop pretending you know me. That is really not necessary you know… Why?! cuz you won…. I don’t care anymore, this is the way it is…. I will stop trying to fking suck up to you and expect you to at least care about me a little….

every year I make the same wish…..but it never happens

I really don’t like people sending the wrong message.

Well, not that I mind….but this time, I DO MIND…

so leave me alone…..

Only True Friends will last…

Don’t you guys get a feeling sometimes with those who you used to think that they are ur buddies and all that…but when you found out about the reality..it really isn’t that great of a feeling…

It’s hard to accept this, but it’s the reality… people change or maybe it was just fake from the beginning ya know…

They think that you are useful …that’s all…. now that your life dont cross over with theirs and there is nothing more to use…it’s a done deal… even though you might sacrificed so much…..nah….to them…it really doesn’t mean a shit…

keep a distance or be the fool…

Okay, so………I know you are a guy but seriously??!!!

your mind is just so fked up……… ur girl cancel on you and you wanted to ask another girl to go there with ya…..ummm…I don’t think so….even though you might not mean to think that way…but seriously…….I don’t think others will think of it as simple as it is…….everything is so fked up recently that I don’t even wanna deal with this….even if I don’t have work, i still wont go….I dunno what you are thinking but….I wouldn’t cheat with ya or make you cheat or anything

stevenrosas:

1. Getting that text message from that guy who says that he thinks you should just stay friends. 
2. Finding out the guy you ignored would’ve been the one for you. 
3. Seeing the boy you fell in love with, fall in love with another girl. 
4. Seeing that same guy everyday, acting like he doesn’t care about what he did to you and your heart.
5. Listening to that song every time you turn on the radio, to only remind you of him, just when you thought you were getting over him.

so normal working day, get off…got on the bus…and fell asleep….

woke up and there was this random teenager boy sleeping on my shoulder……WTF…..